sparks?!?!?!
hey everyone!!! i was just wondering how do you get the spark back for se--(you know)? My husband & i were like rabbits before nicholas. now we both are wrapped up in him. we give each other pecks here and there but nothing like it used to be. I need some ideas.
It took a while
for us mainly because I felt so unattractive and had no interest (shocking). I also found that the new BC I had been put on was affecting my mood A LOT. Once we got everything sorted out in that area things seemed to fall into place. We make a point to spend some time together even if it's just a little time before we go to sleep each night.
sparks
For us, I think it's just a mutual understanding that at this season of our lives, we are exhausted and it's ok to not be rabbits. We have a 4 and 1 year old, my husband works full time, helps 110% with the kids when he gets home. I am a wahm, so between kids, laundry, meals, cleaning, working.....when 9:00 pm rolls around and the kids are finally off to bed, it's hard to not just crash on couch. When you have kids, I think it's just like marriage, it takes work to put the spark back in it. As far as ideas, I'm low on spark myself, so I'll let someone else more spunky give some ideas :)
A friend sent me this article, and I meant to post it awhile ago and I forgot. This couple did a 101 day sex marathon. Sex every day....sick or not, fighting or not, tired or not. And they didn't do it to "get it over with," they actually had to put some effort into it. I thought it was in interesting challenge. Check it out:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,406582,00.html
Jessica
~ Mommy to Luke and Shawn
HMMM.
When I was younger and even after children it wasn't a problem for me but for my husband. Where I never lost that drive but he did. Now that I am older I have become more like him. Time you work all day, take care of the house and kids, there is hardly any other "me" time along "sparks" time. We both talked about this the other night and look at each other and said it was too much of an effort. That is when we knew it was time to start actually trying. So now we are going to start "date" night once a month. We use to do this long ago but fell out of the routine. Just the two of us, no kids, nothing. Even if it just means going to a part and swinging on the swings for an hour. Just time to talk.
Date night
My husband and I do a "date night" as well. Once a month, we find a sitter (my mom, mother-in-law, whoever is available...lol) and the two of us go to dinner. Nothing fancy, usually just the same restaurants we would normally go to, but NO KIDS!! And just about every time all we end up talking about is the kids, but its so nice to be able to feed yourself first for a change!! Fortunately for me my mom and step-mom like to take the kids over-night on occasion, so every once in a while (although not as often as we used to) we will get a hotel for the night. I realize that getting a hotel for a night could be rather pricey (esp. since we always splurge for the once with the jacuzzi!!) but it's definately worth it to keep that "spark" alive and keep us happy and together!
In fact, I told my husband the other day that next year I want to take a vacation without the kids. :) Just a few days, I don't care where we go, but I just want to be alone with him. We are young (only 22) and we had our kids at a very young age, so unfortunately we haven't had a whole lot of time to spend with just the two of us.
marathon
That article cracked me up...Could you even imagine discussing and planning a sex-marathon with your closest family and friends??? How would you begin that conversation with your folks or your kids? Too funny :)
WOW!
Ok, this post made me blush a little! But, THANK YOU! I have wondered the same thing Kristina! After almost 9 years together, 2 kids, work, college, housework... when do you find the time or energy? That article was pretty comical; I don't think I could go to some of those extremes. We talk about the "hot" times before the boys were born and I try to convince him that there is potential for that again, once the boys are grown and out of our home! LOL My body has changed significantly since our first child, I am very self-conscious and would prefer the dark! This drives him crazy because well, night is the only option for me. I know he loves me and how I look but it bugs the heck out of me! So how do you get past that? I worry that if its this tough now, what will it be like in 20 years, 30 years? Makes you wonder how couples have kept the "spark" after 30, 40 years???
Sparks
I feel very lucky bc my husband and I never lost that spark. Even through my entire pregnancy. We have a 2 month old that consumes ALOT of my time and my husband sometimes works 70+ hours a week but we still find the time. SO if you need some ideas I'm your girl! First of all EVERYONE is tired at night, try it in the morning(before your kids wake up)
When he comes home from work, don't just peck him, give him a passionate kiss, that usually gets it goin then or he'll remember that kiss for later!
Send him hot texts while your apart durring the day!
If your not in the mood think of the beginning when you couldn't keep your hands off eachother!
Hope those ideas help, hope I wasn't too forward!