can someone help me with my inlaws?
My mother and sister in laws are trying to make it so my husband divorces me. They do not like me because I had them in mywedding I paid for everything but I wouldn't use their ideas for my wedding and when they tried to take over my wedding I reminded them it was MY wedding. Now they absolutly hate me and keep putting me down to my husband. My husband stands up for me but they are talking bad about me to my kids. we have asked them to stay away and they wont. I just got married in February so how can I stop them from being like this. I have tried to be so nice I even helped pay formy sister in laws recent wedding. please give me some advice.
inlaws
You, your husband and children are now your own family. That is your priority and your husbands priority. Your husband needs to let his family know, in NO uncertain terms, what is/is not acceptable with his wife and children and stand by it. If they cannot accept this then they need to stay away. If they do not stay away, then don't answer the door. If they harrass you endlessly, call the police to get them off your door step. Get caller ID, if you don't already and do not answer the phone if they call. They will eventually give up. My husband and I have been through SO VERY MUCH with his family and had to do the same thing. We went through years of turmoil with them. We tried and tried and tried to be good to them, to be understanding etc, but nothing changed and our family continued to suffer. Enough was enough!! I really didn't think they would ever "give up" and leave us alone but they do. We are so much happier and our home is peaceful. If they cannot respect your family, especially around the children, then they need to be removed until they can. Even if that is permanently based on their unwillingness to change.
an adjustment
I think getting married is as much of an adjustment for the in-laws as it is for you and your husband. I know for us, it was an adjustment for the whole family! New boundries are set, new habits formed...I think it's hard for everyone. However, that certainly doesn't give his family the right to bad mouth you!! I would say stay away from them, if at all possible. Eventually they will get tired of trying to make your life miserable. If they see their behavior isn't affecting your relationship with your husband, eventually they will probably back off....you would think anyway! I would say if they are trying to say bad things about you to your children, I wouldn't allow them to see the kids! That type of childish behavior isn't acceptable. Unfortunately, some people for one reason or another feel the need to be unsupportive and rude. I would say just don't include those people in your life right now.
Jessica
~ Mommy to Luke and Shawn
JessicasCandles@gmail.com